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In relationships, the way we communicate can make a significant impact on the dynamic between two people. Often, when we want someone to do something, we tend to give direct instructions, laying out exactly how we want things done. For instance, “Please finish your dinner so I can clear the table,” or “Have a bath now, the water is warm.” While these commands might seem simple, they can easily breed resentment over time. Why? Because they can make us seem controlling, as if we’re always telling the other person what to do and when to do it.
This is where offering choices instead of giving directions can transform the relationship dynamic. Instead of instructing, we can offer a choice: “Would you like to have dinner now so I can clear the table, or would you prefer to eat later and clear it yourself?” By giving options, we avoid boxing the other person into a corner. It shows respect for their autonomy and allows them to make their own decisions, reducing the likelihood of defensiveness or conflict.
Empowerment through choice is a powerful tool. When we allow others to choose from a set of options, they feel more in control and, more importantly, more respected. This sense of ownership over a decision increases the chances of them following through, because it’s no longer something they were simply told to do—it’s something they chose to do.
But the key to offering choices effectively lies in how we design the options. It’s crucial to ensure that every option we present is one we’re comfortable with, so no matter what they decide, we’re okay with the outcome. This creates a win-win situation, fostering a respectful and more harmonious relationship.
Ultimately, offering choices strengthens communication and nurtures mutual respect, empowering both parties to feel heard and valued in the relationship.
